Thunder Bay’s Name to Be Erased — Province Restores Fort William and Port Arthur

THUNDER BAY – APRIL 1, 2025 – In a surprise move that has stunned residents and reignited old rivalries, the Ontario government has announced it will officially revoke the 1970 amalgamation of Fort William and Port Arthur, restoring the two cities as separate municipal entities.

Thank you all for taking our annual April Fool’s Gag as what it was, a tongue in cheek piece to see how fiction can be seen as news. While we strive everyday to be balanced and accurate, our one piece on April Fools Day gives a touch of extra creativity. We hope you enjoyed it. With the situation on the Trade War/Political Gamesmanship and sdd in the looming Winter Storm, and we all need a smile!

The announcement came early this morning from Queen’s Park, with Ontario Premier Doug Ford saying, “It’s about time we righted this historic wrong. The people of Northwestern Ontario deserve to see their communities recognized for who they really are.”

A Secret Committee, Revealed

The decision follows the findings of a previously undisclosed advisory sub-committee led by none other than former Thunder Bay mayors Keith Hobbs and Bill Mauro.

According to internal government documents obtained by NetNewsLedger, the sub-committee was first formed in early 2023, and operated under complete secrecy to avoid “sparking another waterfront-style debate.”

Co-chaired by MPP Kevin Holland, and endorsed by current Mayor Ken Boshcoff, the committee’s report reportedly cited “Decades of simmering identity confusion, countless spirited Facebook debates, and an unusually high volume of angry letters written in all caps.”

Immediate Changes Coming

Starting July 1, 2025 — exactly 55 years after the original amalgamation took effect — the city will ceremonially split in two.

New signs are being commissioned now, and a temporary dividing line will be painted along Memorial Avenue and Fort William Road until proper jurisdictional boundaries can be re-established.

The north side of what is now Fort William Road will be renamed Port Arthur Road.

Municipal services will be duplicated, with each new-old city electing its own council. Fort William will regain City Hall on Donald Street, while Port Arthur’s new headquarters will be located at Hillcrest Park where it is hoped the amazing vista will help inspire the new Port Arthur city council to make great decisions.

A Canada Day to Remember

There will be a civic election called for June 20, 2025, where new city councils and mayors for Fort William and Port Arthur will be elected.

Then to celebrate this “monumental moment in local democracy,” a massive rebranding celebration is being planned at Marina Park, including:

• A dual fireworks show, launched simultaneously from the Kaministiquia River and Hillcrest Park

• The unveiling of new Fort William and Port Arthur flags, reportedly designed by local grade school students

• A symbolic “paper-cutting” ceremony where a ceremonial map of Thunder Bay will be cut in half with oversized scissors

• Free Finn pancakes and Persians served to all residents (must show proof of ward address)

In an exclusive comment to NNL, Mayor Ken Boshcoff said, “This is about more than names. It’s about heritage, community identity, and finally settling that age-old debate once and for all.”

What’s Next?

Reactions have been mixed. Some residents are thrilled. “We always said we were from Fort William anyway,” said one shopper at the Westfort Foods. Others worry about the practical fallout. “Do I need a new driver’s license? Will the bus routes change? Is the Giant now in Fort William or Port Arthur?” asked a confused Northwood resident.

Premier Ford clarified, “Don’t worry, the Sleeping Giant belongs to everyone. Unless we sell naming rights to Bell or Tbaytel. We’re exploring options.”